Scribble Scrabble!

By Ellen Bari

I was not quite three when my mother was invited to sub for a kindergarten teacher who was out on maternity leave. She took me along for the six-month ride, as I guess she imagined it could only be positive for me to be amongst older kids, in a learning environment.  I have a few vague, happy memories from that time, but there is one experience that I might not remember as well, had it not become part of the family mythology. It seems that on more than one occasion, one of the ‘big boys’ attacked my artistic talents. He would come up to my easel, survey my artwork, and say: You Scribble Scrabble! Apparently, each time I was crushed. Had I known that years later Whitney Ferre, Creatively Fit founder, would use scribbles as a technique for reaching The Artist Within, the title of her book, the sting of this boy’s insult may have been minimized.

Recently, Whitney proved the power of her technique to an intimate group of not-just moms at the delightful Linger Cafe and Lounge in Brooklyn.  The event, Creatives and Cocktails,  co-presented with Momasphere and Melissa Anne Colors, gave us  a chance to see for ourselves how a scribble on a page can shut down the left brain, making room for the right brain and the silenced artist within. Though as children, we seem to have a natural ability to make art without judgement, with age, an unfortunate and often cruel, internal critic squelches our ability to put crayon to paper and just let it flow.

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Earth Day Revisited

By Ellen Bari

The 40^th anniversary of Earth Day, seems like a perfect opportunity for us moms to reflect upon the state of our planet and the small things we can do to help. We are (slowly) becoming aware of the problems: our food is often chemically treated and genetically modified, our water is frequently contaminated with toxic chemicals, our wasteful habits are filling landfills, gas prices are soaring, our resources are running out - the list goes on.

So what can we do?  Tons. There are so many easy ways families can contribute to going green, beginning with simple ways to conserve energy, like shutting down and unplugging electronics and setting our thermostats a few degrees lower in the winter/ higher in the summer.  

We can also be mindful of our water consumption by washing clothes in cold water;   filling reusable bottles with filtered tap water, taking shorter showers, installing low-flow shower heads and planting drought-tolerant native plants.

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Who Do We Think We Are?

By Ellen Bari

Fear. Loneliness. Isolation. These are some of the emotions shared at Momasphere’s recent screening and discussion of Who Does She Think She Is? Sounds like a real downer. Well actually, though the sentiments that were shared were not all particularly uplifting, acknowledging our challenges and sharing some possible solutions was liberating…and perhaps even exhilarating. The packed house of moms, and one dad, mostly artists, laughed together throughout the first half of the film, when introduced to the film’s main protagonists-5 artists who juggle worlds of artistic expression and motherhood, as delicately as a basketball player spins a ball atop an index finger. However, as the film progressed, the laughter ceased as we learn that three out of five women end up alone. We even watch one of the marriages fall apart during the course of the filming, a development that many of us did not see coming. Rahti Gorfein, of Make a Living Creatively, one of three creativity coaches on hand to facilitate a vibrant and directed conversation, pointed out that though this woman’s husband tells us early on that his daughters have to learn that the world is not predictable, he is not able to follow his own advice when it comes to his wife’s need to pursue her creative calling as a performer. In all cases the husbands felt that their partners had chosen their art above their responsibilities as mothers and wives. Many of us related to a familiar sentiment shared by Mayumi Oda, a Japanese artist/activist/mentor, who tells of an interchange with her husband, shortly before he left. Exasperated, he tells her, “I want a wife!” to which she replies, “I want a wife, too!”

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I Am Woman, Watch Me Create!

By Whitney Ferre

I love the quote by Albert Einstein, “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” It reminds me that whatever the problem, to find a solution there must first be a shift in our thought process. So when I learned about the documentary “Who Does She Think She Is?” I immediately went to, “where does the shift need to happen?” As the mother of three school age children, a wife, an artist, an author, and an entrepreneur, I have intimate knowledge of the struggles faced by creative women.

Where is the shift here? The guilt has been created by the society outside of ourselves. So, it is within ourselves that we will find the solution. I see two opportunities to create a shift within ourselves. Let me speak to my own experience to illustrate.

First, as hard as it can be, I know that I need to protect my creative time. If I feel “guilty” about taking the time to create, I am by default validating the position that mothers “should” spend extra time devoted to family, or “should” only engage in activity outside the family that produces an income. When I align with the “why I need to create”, then I can explain to my husband and kids that this activity is not optional. Over the years, I have had to work, sculpt, carve, illustrate for my family how important my creative activity is, as well as how important it is for all of us. I can also stand firm and let them know that they do not want to be living with the woman who has not had her time in the studio. As a result, they spend more time creating, drawing, painting, building, imagining. I have been able to create this family culture, but only because I made a shift within that created a shift outside of me.

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Let The Kids Grow Up Already

By Scott Sager

New Years is upon me, bringing thoughts of change and self-improvement. I am overwhelmed by suggestions to lose weight, be a better father or increase my happiness next year. The obstacles between me and my personal upgrade are formidable, things like chocolate chip cookies, and how far away the gym seems on a cold morning.

I certainly think my kids would benefit from some well-thought-out resolutions (keeping their rooms clean, getting to bed on time, doing their homework neatly come to my mind). But as teenagers, they’re changing all the time, in spite of me and the other adults around them.

I make it hard for my children to grow and evolve into their next phase of being. I resist their mutations. They become stuck in my head a certain way and I’m unable to see the evidence of their transforming identities.

My younger daughter loved the color yellow when she was 3-years-old, maybe longer. Everything yellow — stuffed animals, food, paints. I found this wonderful and endearing. She called it “lellow,” which was so cute and made us all ask her if she wanted “lellow” candy or “lellow” clothes.

She’s 13 now, and “lellow” is not her favorite color anymore — but you wouldn’t know that from me, her mother and her grandmothers. We still look at her as if nothing has changed, in spite of the evidence: she is now taller than five feet and able to pronounce that color just fine, thank you very much. We still give her yellow clothes and bring her yellow toys. I can be alone in the house, saying “lellow” to the dog and, magically, it’s as if that little girl is in the room with me again. Read Complete Article Here.

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